26 January, 2012

You know you're Australian if...

I found this list on someone's Facebook page and I thought it was perfect to celebrate Australia Day here on my blog. I've edited it a little — of course! (Mostly to make it cleaner.)


I cannot tick every box, but certainly a majority. And a disclaimer, I do love my Kiwi and American friends, please don't take the below personally! A lot of this is "said" with a good deal of "tongue in cheek".


You know you're Australian if ...
* You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
* You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
* You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
* You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
* You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
* You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
* You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
* You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
* You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
* You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
* You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
* You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
* Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.
* You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year. 
* You wear ugg boots outside the house.
* You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
* You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
* Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language
* You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite.
* You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
* You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
* Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
* You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
* You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
* When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
* You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
* You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
* You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
* You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad
* You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
* You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam
* You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
* You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
* You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.
* And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.



4 comments:

Betsy de Cruz said...

Happy Australia day from a "yankee" friend! This is a hilarious list!
Love it!

Helen said...

Can relate to all of it, except for the pronunciations of Australia! And I made a comment on another blog where she *shock horror* put up a recipe for Anzac cookies!

Deb said...

Yep! Happy Australia Day to you all. Was watching the cricket and bemused by the fact that it was both the Australia's AND the Indian's national day.

Footprints Australia said...

I'm a bit late leaving a comment as I've been in Kiwi-land for a couple of weeks. But just had to say I love this list!!!!